So many things that I read online anymore just make me feel like shit. Sure there are some good blogs or articles out there that don’t tell you how to be a better mom, wife, friend or woman by putting you down first, but it gets harder and harder to come by. I end up looking for inspiration and feel worse about myself at the end of my search. One site told me to figure out creative ways to tackle an emotional breakdown from my toddler. “Try to make her handle her feelings with an innovative approach to reduce the tantrums.” WTF???? Who has time or patience to come up with an innovative approach while your 2, 3, 4 year old is loosing their mind. What is an innovative approach anyway?? That person must not have been a parent, or had aliens for children.
I just want to write about my experiences, or should I say struggles about me being a mom and wife, and if you can relate-then stick with me. I’m not looking to make anyone feel bad about themselves because they didn’t wake up all chipper at 5 AM, run 3 miles, make a gourmet breakfast for their family, teach their kids 4 lessons of school since they home school and their kids listen to every word they say perfectly the first time all while cleaning the entire house spotless and cooking dinner so when hubby gets home he has a perfectly prepared meal all ready and waiting in his spotless house with his perfect kids and gorgeous wife who is totally put together. <Sigh> Ugh! My life is so opposite of that, and from what I gather from friends and Facebook, a lot of other people’s lives are opposite that too. My kids watch too much TV, make huge messes, wear mismatched clothes, throw tantrums and tell me how mean I am 100 times a day, and a lot of the time make me feel like the worst mom on earth. I struggle DAILY with trying to just tidy up the house, raise nice people and feed them. Every month when my “friend” appears I have new struggles with extreme fatigue and irrational thoughts and feelings that I now take medication because they say I have PMDD. I turn psychotic, I know it, and I don’t want to, but it happens every. single. month. My son will not listen and I turn into the nagging, wanting to explode mom who is chasing him around the coffee table to get him ready for school, and my daughter, although so sweet and cute a lot of the time, will whine and whine that I just want to hide sometimes. Here’s a secret, I do hide in the bathroom and play candy crush or farm heroes saga while they are banging on the door just to escape them for a few minutes here and there. I AM the worst mom on earth-or am I? In my constant state of struggle I talk to my friends and they tell me how I’m a great mom and not to be so hard on myself. They tell me I’m like them.
So here is my new way of dealing with life. Blogging. I’m going to get it all out and keep it real. My inspiration is going to come from you, the other worst moms on earth. Together we’ll get through these feelings of inadequacies and we’ll persevere cause at the end of the day our kids are tucked into bed (hopefully) and we love them more than anything. I am trying to find real purpose besides being the lady who serves her family and I am hopeful this is it. Will you join me on my journey? Ten deep breaths later, I’m calm and I’m writing. It feels great!
10 deep breaths later 