Letters to Noah

When Noah was 2, I started writing to him in a notebook.  I kept up with it pretty regularly for a while and then life got the best of me and time slipped away.  I’m including them in my blog and hope to write to him more regularly because of that. Here they will be preserved better than in a notebook too. I need to start writing to Reagan as well. I’ve dropped the ball there.


June 17, 2011

Dear Noah,

You are 2 years old (almost 25 months) and you are awesome! Lately, however, you have unleashed your voice and saying “NO!” to everything.  Ah yes, the terrible two’s.  I didn’t imagine that things would change much from 23-24 months old, but wham!, they did.  You have been very vocal learning new words and repeating everything we say, and you are so smart putting your words together with new items or objects that you are seeing. However, along with that came “NO!” and your new ability to test me and Daddy.

Everyday for a few weeks now we have a daily struggle or two.  You throw your sippy cup across the floor and I tell you to pick it up and out fly’s the NO’s and you look the other way. We have a stand-off, there is a lot of screaming and crying from you.  I end up taking you to your room where you scream and cry some more until eventually your calm down.  You give me a hug, say sorry, we go back downstairs and you pick up your cup.  All that mayhem for no good reason.

You also like to test my patience by doing something I’ve told you not to do over and over-while looking at me until I get frustrated and physically remove you from the situation and then you cry and cry and get mad at me.

When you’re mad at me, you are MAD! You’ve thrown your blankly at me, hurled your body on the ground, stomped your feet and arms, even head-butt the floor and wall. I try my best to stay calm and in control but I gotta tell you Noah, I’m far from perfect and struggle with not allowing my 2-year-old to make me crazy.  I often feel sad that you spent a lot of your day sad or upset because I had to discipline you, even though I know that’s what you needed.

Even when you’re acting bad or wrong, that doesn’t make me feel any less sad when I watch you cry your big tears with snot running down your face.  I keep telling myself, “it’s just a phase and you’re testing me and we’ll both be better and stronger people when you are done”.  On the other hand, we have so many wonderful moments together that make being a mom the best thing in the world!

Moments like when you first wake up and cuddle with me in my arms.  Or when you tell me “I love you” in your cute little voice.  You help me with the laundry and emptying the dishwasher and sit by me as I cook dinner and we chat.  You bring me my slippers and yell “MOM, MOM!” and when I say “What Noah?” you smile and laugh and walk away.

I can’t believe you are 2 already and it brings me to tears thinking about you growing up and getting older.  As hard as you can be and exhausting at times, you are learning so much, and doing new things and you are so funny and cute that it kills me.  I want to keep you this size so that you’ll always fit in my arms and cuddle and be my little boy.

You are awesome and everybody loves you.  The neighbor kids ask me if you can play when you’re napping, you have a great best friend in Zach and so much love from Shelly, your sisters and grandparents, and most of all Daddy and me. It’s been a rough couple years for all of us with your sleeping issues but I’m hopeful it will continue to get better and better.  Mommy and Daddy love you to death and you bring us so much joy.

I’m sorry for when I had to put my foot down and make you so upset, but 10 years from now you’ll be better for it!

I love you, Mommy 🙂

 


2011

Noah,

So this has been fun.  For the last couple months a couple of times a week, you have woken up from your nap, pooped, and decided it would be fun to paint your room with it. You smear it into the carpet, on the walls, on your dresser, the mini blinds, toys and inside your vent.  You do it up and are extremely quiet and quick about it.  I’ve reached the point where I’m scared to put you down for a nap and I run up and check on you every 15-20 minutes to make sure you’re not “painting” your room again.  Somehow, you fit it in when I’m not creeping on you and I just want to scream and cry.

It’s not a fun mess to clean up and it just has to stop. Why Noah? Why?

(update 2015: this lasted for 3 months and finally he stopped, thank God!!!)


July 8, 2011

Dear Noah,

Hi there-its Mommy.  I love you so much, it’s inexplicable how much you mean to me.  I just wanted you to know that.  I am working on my patience and approach with you now that you are telling me no all the time – I’m sorry for the times you’ve been so mad at me, and times where I’ve lost my cool and I needed a time out.  I just want you to listen to me and a lot of the time you do, it’s just so frustrating when you don’t.  We’ll get through it and both learn from this time in your life.

Anyways, I want so much for you and I worry so much about all you will experience, good and bad in this world when you’re older.  I want you to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted and a respectful young man one day.  I want you to look back on your childhood and think it was great and we did a lot of fun things and even when we weren’t doing anything special-we were together.

I want you to grow up with 2 loving parents who are always there for you and close relationships with your sisters. Family is so important.

You are growing in so many ways right now; physically, emotionally, intellectually, its bittersweet for your Mama.  You are so smart and so funny and I know it sounds stupid, but you have so much potential for your life and I think about all this stuff and you’re only 2 years old!

I’ll stop for now and just live in the moment.  This is what I’m learning from you right now.  Although I think about your future, I know that you will only be little once and it goes fast—–so I need to enjoy this time with you now.  Day by day.  And I want us to enjoy everyday (at least 95% of it)

I love you my little buddy 🙂

Keep up on your new words and forming sentences.  Get your rest at night so you grow big and strong and continue being so darn cute!

Love, Mommy   XOXOXOX


September 17, 2011

Dear Noah,

It’s 1:17AM and you are still awake.  The last 2 weeks have been bad for you and sleeping at night.  We get you in a pretty good routine for a bit and wham-you’re up for a week straight until 2-2:30 (or later) in the morning! It’s NOT good. Gotta fix this somehow.

You’ve helped Daddy build his rock wall in the front of the house and Daddy has really enjoyed you being there.  You are really good with a hammer and shovel.

You are a natural at a lot of things- throwing balls, kicking balls, helping with laundry and emptying the dishwasher and helping Daddy outside. (Right now you are crying because your blankly is in the washer :()

You have been binkie free for probably a month now if not a little longer–that is awesome! Man, I really, really hope you don’t stay an insomniac like me. I’m better now that I every was (even with all your sleep issues) but I still struggle with it.  You are so bad at night lately that we have to lock you in your room so you don’t wander the house and get into danger while we attempt to get some sleep (poor Daddy has to work during the day). You hate that and bang things against the walls, pull on your door so hard that I can’t believe the handle still works, destroy your mini blinds (we’re on your 3rd set), shove things down your vent and bang on the door. You can’t just lay down or relax or play with anything without destroying it. The saddest thing you do when “locked up” is yell under your door for someone to get you.  I lay in my bed with the pillow over my head and sob, because I hate to hear you like that and hate that we have no other choice right now.  Breaks my heart!

On a positive note, you are learning SO much now and you’re really smart.  You have a picture book of things around the house and you recognize so many of them and we go over flash cards and you know some really hard one’s! you say so much now and repeat a lot to learn it.  You can say clear sentences and ask complete questions, its awesome.  You really didn’t talk much for a long time and now you’re on a roll.  When you’re not being stubborn you even follow “orders” really well.

It’s truly amazing watching you grow and learn and figure stuff out.  Even though you five me and Daddy grief, you are so awesome and amazing to me and I look forward to every day watching you grow and develop into the little man you are.

I love you! think you may be asleep now. That’s good cause its 1:42 and I’m tired.

Love you so much, Mommy


March 24, 2012

Dear Noah,

Hi Buddy! It’s been a while since I’ve written.  The weather has been in the 80’s this last week and its March! It’s been great!  You have been playing with Cole a lot from down the street.  It’s neat watching how grown up or independent you have become.  you’re not even 3 yet, but you have friends who come over to see if you can play.  I love watching you grow and learn and play.  You make my life so great (even when I am exhausted from being up all night with you and when I am upset with your behavior) you are an awesome human being.

Your baby brother or sister is coming soon.  You have been so cute throughout my pregnancy and I know you will be such a great big brother.  I will try my best to make sure that we have our time together too because I cherish that so much.

Well this is a short one, Mommy is tired tonight.

I love you so, so, so, so much!

Love, Mommy XOXOXO


September 20,2012

My Dear Noah,

Wow!-6 months since I’ve last written. So much has happened since March.

Well first and foremost, we had a baby girl named Reagan Lee and you love her so much it’s incredible!  you are absolutely the Best big brother ever.  She was born June 3, 2012 and is almost 4 months old now.  You give her lots of hugs and kisses, sing and play with her, protect her and hold her hand in the car.  You have complete, undying love for her and its more than I could have every hoped for.

She loves you so much too! She stares and you and smiles and laughs, reaches for you and tries to talk to you.  It is heart warming and I need to video tape it because time is going by way to fast.  You two are going to be best friends and have a life-long bond that will be unbreakable I predict.  It is truly a blessing and honor to watch you two everyday.  Thank you for being so wonderful to baby sister Reagan.

Now onto other happenings with you.  3 weeks ago you started Preschool and have been doing great with that.  You go to Lakeview Christian Preschool on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s from 9-11:30.  You haven’t gotten into trouble (yet) and with the exception of one time-you just walk right into your classroom and don’t miss me at all! A little girl in there named Kenzie seems to be quite fond of you too.  Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you.

You are still a spazman and still don’t sleep great–but it’s usually a lot better than it has been.  You had a sleep study test done and we are waiting for the results. I pray nothing bad, but hope for some answers.  I just don’t want you to struggle with sleep problems your whole life. As frustrating as it is for mommy and daddy, it has to be so hard for you when you simply cannot sleep and we have to lock you in your room.  It’s sad for Mommy when you’re calling me under your door and banging around.  My poor baby! Oh, I suppose there could be a lot worse things wrong with you then you not sleeping well, so I have to be thankful for that.

You are still amazing with all your questions and learning and silly faces.  You are so smart and stubborn too.  I hope you use your stubbornness for good when you’re older.  You and I have had many a battle because you are so stinkin’ stubborn.  It makes me crazy sometimes (most of the time), but I’ve got to give you credit for not being quick to give in on things and that is what I hope stays with you.  Don’t give in to peer pressure.  Don’t let people bully you or walk all over you-you be strong in your convictions (as long as they are good) and use your stubbornness for good and when necessary. I know you will. You’re a great kid with a heart of gold and you’ll do well in life.

Everyday Daddy and I swap stories about how you made us proud or what you did to make us laugh, etc. 🙂 We love talking about you!

Alright, I’m rambling on now.  Hopefully it won’t be 6 months when I write again. I’ll try to keep up better, but I can’t make any promises in this department.

I love you so much!!!! Please never forget that!!!!

Love,

Mommy 🙂 XOXOXO


February 27, 2013

Dear Noah,

It’s another new year and in a few months you’ll be 4, we’ll get to that when its time though.  For now I’ll recap the last 5 months since I’ve written last (can’t seem to make time to write anymore).

Well, we had a great Christmas. You got a lot of neat things including your Eagle Talon Castle, Pop the Pig game, Dreamlight Puppy, Batman Bat Cave, glow track with light up race cars and a LeapPad, etc.  This was your 4th Christmas and Reagan’s 1st and Paige’s last Christmas with us for a while (she’ll be moving to Florida after she graduates). It was a good Christmas and New Year.

Shortly after we started the new year, Daddy unexpectedly lost his job.  It was nice for you and Reagan because he got to spend a lot of time with you two when he would normally be at work.  I know he really enjoyed some bonding time with you and I enjoyed his help as well.  It was tough though too.

Let’s see, you’re doing very well at Preschool and your teacher’s really like you.  You’re still an incredible big brother to Reagan and she crawls and furniture walks all around and you keep a close eye on her.  I’m so proud of you! You are thoughtful and most of the time kind, ha ha—you are only 3 after all.  You’re imagination has blossomed and you are still so funny.

We’re ready for spring and to be able to go outside more often.  Oh and you got your 1st case of Pink Eye 2 days ago. You handled it like a champ though, and now Reagan has it too 😦

I’ll try hard to write again soon.

Always know that I love you so, so, so much! You mean so much to me and make my heart happy 🙂

Love you,

Mommy


November 5, 2013

Dear Noah,

I’m sorry I let 9 months go by without writing. A lot happens in 9 months at your age.

So lets see, you turned 4 and poor guy had to go to the emergency room the morning of your party because you had such a bad ear infection that it popped your ear drum and was leaking fluid that morning when we got up. You were in such pain all night, the night before the rupture and actually the rupture brought you some great relief. We went to the new ED and they gave you meds and you and Reagan ended up having a great shared party. (It was her 1st Birthday!) Your ear leaked for a week and then all better!

What else, lets see:

We dog sat Aunt Kristy’s 3 legged dog Chiquita and you loved her! You took good care of her and was really upset when she went back home.  We had a good summer. You played everyday with Cole, the other neighbor kids and Zachy.  You were and are quite popular! You are still an awesome big brother to Reagan. You love her so much and show her, play with her, protect her, sing to her and so on. She is SO lucky to have you as her big brother and I love watching you two and am excited to see how your relationship continues to grow.  You guys warm my heart.

You also started Pre-K in September and again, have been doing very well. You write your name really well now and even surprised me by writing mom all by yourself. Awe! You’re growing up! Speaking of growing up, you don’t wear pull ups at all anymore and have done great with that.  You’re sleeping so much better too! So much better! It’s not perfect yet, but darn close.  Reagan hasn’t been sleeping well lately though, so we finally get you on a good track and now Reag’s is on a bad one, I tell ya!

Paigey graduated from High School and moved to Florida in July to go to college there and you have really missed her a lot! You talk about missing her almost everyday 😦 It’s sweet and sad.  You have such a big heart and I’m so proud of that.  You’re really thoughtful and can be so kind and loving. You continue to say the funniest things and ask a lot of questions cause you’re learning so much.  You like to sing and dance too. You give us a hard time with eating here and there but I’ll take that over not sleeping any day, ha ha.

As always, I love you so much!

Continue sleeping good at night.  You have my heart,

Mommy


May 13, 2014

Dear Noah,

You are almost 5! Just 5 days away. Hard for me to believe. (its been 6 months since I’ve last written too-I’ve been terrible with that, sorry)

You are almost done with Pre-K and registered for kindergarten! It’s an exciting time and you are growing up so fast!  Mommy and Daddy have debated for months about sending to kindergarten now or waiting a year. We were originally good with you going now because kindergarten was a half day long, so got you all signed up and they switched it to full day. It’s not that you wouldn’t be able to handle going all day, it’s just that your birthday is towards the end of the year and you will be one of the younger kids of your class and this sets you up for your entire school career. It’s a lot to explain, but you’re going to go in the fall and Mommy and Daddy pray that we are making the right decision for you now and your future.

You know how to write your full name and a lot of other little words, you know your address, can count to 100, sometimes more and got a very good report from your Pre-K teachers. You are often a smart-butt, which I know you get from Daddy, and you and Darby fight like cats and dogs.

Reagan and yourself have become better friends now that she’s older (she’s almost 2!) You still adore her and most of the time she adores you too.  She tells you that she love you and plays “puppy” with you, gives you hugs and kisses, etc.  You are very sweet with your little Sis and now that she’s almost 2 you guys have more fun together.  She “steals” your toys though and that makes you frustrated.

You are quite the sports star shooting hoops with Daddy and Darby all the time.  You do “drills” in the basement with them and can dribble really, really well.  You also hit a baseball well too and are playing T-ball/coach pitch (you never need to use the T!).  At the same time as baseball, you were also playing grasshopper soccer and I don’t want to fill your head, but you dominated in that as well.  Made a ton of goals and Daddy and I decided if you play soccer again to move you up so its more challenging for you.(We did move him to U7 soccer that fall and he did well). When you want to you play so good in sports. Use your stubbornness to dominate! You also played basketball in the winter at the YMCA and Daddy coached. That was a lot of fun to watch and you and your teams (played 2 sessions) improved so much each time! People are often amazed at how well you do because when they look at you they just see a smaller kid.  They don’t realize you have natural athletic abilities and a Dad who helps you to reach your potential and pushes you to go beyond that.

You learned to ride a 2 wheeler bike when you were 4 from Cole who was 5 at the time in a matter of an hour and now you ride one-handed, try to do “stunts” (while I close my eyes) and are a whiz on a scooter.  You definitely have great coordination and your possibilities are truly endless when it comes to sports.  Just always give your all, practice and try your best and you’ll find much success in that area of your life!

Remember, school is 1st! I love you!

Mom

 

 

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