From my viewpoint

I’m having a hard time with the new decision to allow gay and lesbian people marry.

Not for the reasons that some people are upset about it, but simply because there is so much “issue” surrounding it.

I grew up in a Catholic family and went to Catholic school for 8 years. I believe in God and feel my life is richer and greater than I can imagine because I believe.  Through many terrible times in my life when I’ve questioned God and have asked why he would “allow” these things to happen to me, my faith in him has pulled me through and having my children has solidified my belief in him even more. I am no theology scholar or anyone really in the scheme of this argument.  I am just a fellow human being with my own thoughts and feelings and I have a nagging feeling in my heart regarding the “issue” of gay and lesbian rights.

All that being said, my stance is that I  believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they choose. I have a hard time accepting that people say homosexuality is immoral because they way I was raised and taught at my Catholic school was to “treat one another as we wish to be treated, and that God has created all of us out of likeness of him.”

It is stated in Jeremiah 1:5, I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart, this tells me that he created each and every one of us the way he wanted us to be. People do not choose to be gay, they are born that way and if I believe that God has a plan for all of us before we are born, then I leave it up to him. I also believe that people are entitled to some fundamental rights in their lives, such as the right to be happy, the right to live their life in a way that makes them happy and the right to be loved. Who am I to say that I can be in love and marry the person I love because I am heterosexual but you cannot experience the most awesome gift from God (feeling and giving love) because you want to marry a person as the same sex as you are. I wholeheartedly feel that is unacceptable.

Even if the Bible was inspired and ordered by God, it was still written by the imperfect hand of man, understood and interpreted by the limited mind of man from thousands of years ago. It was also then edited and translated thousands of times by said imperfect man. The version of the Bible we see today, all came about in a process where details become misinterpreted or lost due to cultural differences, either between existing cultures or between the same culture but one which has changed over time, information lost in translation, transcription errors (especially early copies of the Bible that were all painstakingly copied by hand by monks under candlelight) and frankly this all comes from a time so far removed from the times we are living in today.-Laurence Wells

If people can change in their lifetime, and “times change” how can we not see that the entire world we live in now has changed over thousands of years? It is not our right or place to judge another human being or their faith but I do believe that there is a “true” message within the minds of the gospel authors at the time of their writings. We must as individuals search responsibly for the “truths” and then make the choice to incorporate what we seek and find into our lives in a moral manner. In a world filled with many cultures, religions, beliefs and practices, who determines which religion is “correct” or which one must be followed? I understand that America was built on Christian values but our Constitution allows for freedom of religion. Thomas Jefferson, one of our founding fathers argued separation of church and state. ” Jefferson believed not only that God created man, and gave humans certain rights, but that the right to think freely for oneself-free from the restraints of ministers, dogma, and government-was central to people’s humanity. He argued that neither religion nor free government could flourish if members could not think for themselves. Forced belief was an oxymoron for Jefferson.  For these reasons, freedom of thought, including the separation of church and state, was essential both for a true religion and for a functioning republic. This is why it was so essential to Jefferson that what he referred to as “freedom of opinion” be guaranteed by the United States Constitution.” (written by John Ragosta for the Encyclopedia Virginia in partnership with the Library of Virginia) So to me, if the 1st Amendment to the Constitution states that congress make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting its free exercise, then why are so many people upset that it is now deemed legal for gay and lesbian people marry, when the problem people have with this is that it is “against” their religion or immoral in their eyes?

I don’t know about you, but I am not perfect.  Far from it! I personally break some of The Ten Commandments daily. Not the “Thou shall not murder, or commit adultery” ones, but I do not often keep holy the Sabbath and even if I go to Church on Sunday’s the “law” states that “you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or you sojourner who stays with you (Exodus 20:10) and I sometimes work at my job on Sunday’s and/or clean around the house or try to complete a project or hit the grocery store so I am not following that law very well. I also take the Lord’s name in vain, which I really do try not to and I do feel guilty when I do, but the “law” states “not to take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain” (Exodus 20:7) Ouch! I need to start really watching my words. Anyways, I’m not going to confess all my sins for you people reading this, but I feel that because I was baptized and God is in my heart, he forgives me when I ask for forgiveness and I do try to be a good person every day. I also do not see anywhere in The 10 Commandments, thou shall not be a homosexual or marry the same sex. We as humans sin, every one of us, every single day. Don’t throw stones in glass houses people! I get super annoyed at the people who argue that things are against their religion but these same people don’t follow the “laws” of said religion and then they turn into super humans all of a sudden preaching the word and protesting and pointing fingers, sometimes arguing out of so much anger and disdain-oh the hypocrisy. It honestly neausates me.

I personally know many Christian and Catholic families with gay members.  My one friend is a devout Catholic, keeps holy hours at our Chapel, goes to church regularly, volunteers her time, helps people whenever and wherever she can, and here is the kicker—-her son is a gay man. Gasp!  I can’t speak for her personally, but I know in her heart that she believes he is loved by God and will join him in heaven one day.  I am happy for her, her son, and her entire family that they will be able to celebrate a marriage with their son if he so desires to wed and it will be legal. When I heard about this news, I immediately thought about her and my heart was happy for them. Throughout the years I have had many gay and lesbian friends. They are some of the loveliest people I have had the joy of knowing. I may not “understand” their sexual preferences and I don’t even have to tell you if I agree with it or not because again, that’s not my point, but I understand the need for love and acceptance, and if they have that they can have it all like the rest of us so-called “normal” people.

Another thought I always come to when I hear about how the Bible pushers “attack” people or groups for not following their beliefs is how more often than not, it comes back around to them and we end up finding out about their skeleton’s in their closets. For example, how many priests did we hear about molesting young boys?!? A huge scandal in the Catholic Church.  Now the famous Duggar family is in the news with stories of their oldest son molesting girls, including his sisters. Sad thing is, I can actually understand Josh Duggar’s behavior, because his family is so extreme in their ways of living up to Christianity, but I cannot stomach that he did that to his own sisters. And then, this “perfect” Christian family tried to cover this up for years. Again, glass houses. These are the same people that will fight against gay and lesbian rights because “its against what the Bible tells us” but they themselves are not following the teachings of the Bible very well.

I believe that it is important for our country to follow certain “laws” from a higher power, and that makes us a better society having high standards of morality in which to abide by. But its a huge disservice to us to not be flexible as well as we evolve as a society. I am so lucky to live in America, a “free” country, the best country and at the core of what makes us great is the freedom to speak openly, have the right to choose a religion to follow, freedoms to be ourselves, etc.

Our judgment will come when we die, if we so believe that way, and we only have ourselves and God to answer to then. God can forgive any sin, but he cannot overlook even one sin. We will answer to him when the time comes. Until then, I am going to do my best to be a good person. I want more that anything for my kids to be kind and nice people, accepting of all, and I try to teach that to them every day. We don’t have to agree with everything people do, but we do not need to judge them (God will do that) and for sure we are no better than anyone else. My husband and I will teach our about our religion in our way and as they get older I hope they question it and search for answers and explore other religions for answers too.  Nothing is cut and dry anymore and life is tough. Let’s not make it tougher. Above all I want them to have a loving heart for all people (follow the “Golden Rule”) and I want them to find love, however that works for them.  I will end with a verse that was read at my wedding:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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What not to do when dining out

Having worked in the hospitality industry/food service most of my life, I have literally seen it all. I worked my way up the ladder as a young 20 something from server to supervisor to service director at some of the finest country clubs in Ohio. I’ve also done my share of time at restaurants, including working part-time at one now so I can stay home with my kids during the day while my hubby is at work. At this point not much surprises me anymore. I’ve decided to put together a list of things that customers should not do while eating out if they don’t want to piss off their servers. As all my lists go, these are in no particular order.

  • When your server approaches you for the first time and greets you, a proper response would be “I’m good, thank you. How are you?” Or even just a simple hello back would suffice. Not acknowledging the person who is in control of your dining experience is not just rude, but rather foolish. People who immediately bark out orders to us before we can even say hello move down our priority list and we’re willing to forgo a tip from them because you’ve just irritated the hell outta us.
  • Ordering water and a pop product or iced tea will get you talked about in the kitchen.
  • No one cares if you know the owners. If the owners want to pay for your meal they will tell us so save your name dropping for another time.
  • Let your server get everything off their tray before you start asking for things. 9 times out of 10 we have what you’re asking for and we know what we’re doing. Give us a chance. If you don’t get it then ask-nicely.
  • Speaking of trays, NEVER EVER grab something off of a servers tray, EVER!!!!! I cannot stress that enough. Unless you want everything else spilled on you.
  • Remember, we are human beings, we are smart people and we are not your slave. Treat us with respect and maybe throw in a friendly attitude and we’ll do our best to make your evening a pleasant one.
  • When your server asks you if you need anything else right now, that’s your cue to speak up. Don’t flag us down at another table because you weren’t smart enough to think ahead 3 minutes.
  • Speaking of flagging someone down, NEVER: Whistle, snap, shout, point, grab or any other combo of the sort to your server from across the room. You will be rudely helped by your now pissed off server and every other server there will know what you did. You don’t want to be known in the kitchen.
  • If you have severe food allergies-eat before you come. Sorry but there is way too much going on and too much potential for cross contamination and we don’t want to be responsible for your death. We’re servers not doctors and you’re going to throw off our whole flow with your 8,000 questions and special orders. There are a few exceptions and we have a few customers who have issues but they know exactly what they can eat, they are extremely nice and patient and they tip well. We cater to them 🙂
  • If you’re an old man and we don’t personally know you, generally the words babe, baby, hun, darling, honey, sweetie, and sweetie pie just creep us out. We have names. If you don’t know it, ask!
  • We also don’t appreciate condescending, pretentious people. Yes we work in a restaurant. You are no better than us just because you may or may not have more money than us. You don’t know me and my reasons for working where I do. Don’t assume and don’t treat us like we are beneath you. We can tell from your disposition and tone and we will hate you and again you will be talked about in the kitchen negatively.
  • Another super annoying thing that happens often is when we ask if you’re ready to order, you say yes, then take 10 mins and can’t decide. When its busy we only have a few minutes here and there to get things done that’s why we ask you first. If you’re undecided or have no clue yet, its OK. Just tell us and we’ll come back after we wrap up other loose ends. When you say yes and stare at the menu in silence it feels like 10 minutes are going by and we are thinking of the 20 other things we could be doing right at that moment. You are disrupting our flow and like a basketball game, flow is important to our night going well for you and us. Also, don’t say you’re ready and then go on to ask 100 questions. You are not ready if you have questions.
  • We only get paid like $3.85/$4.05 an hour. A compliment on our service does not increase our hourly wage meaning you should tip less because you told us how great our service is. Compliments do not pay our bills. If we are so awesome as to deserve a compliment then show us the money! It’s that simple. Money talks.
  • Don’t ever come in 10 minutes before close and order a well done steak (yuck!), well done burger or anything that requires long cooking time. We loath you people. Cuss words are flying about you from us and the kitchen staff. You have become the worst person on earth. And if you must come in right before close your tip better be incredible! Like 35% and up. Then and only then will we take back every horrible word we said about you.
  • If you have a coupon or discount-tip on your total before the discount is given. We don’t give you discounted service so don’t give us a discounted tip.
  • If you have like 10 or more people, 1. Call ahead, 2. Sit near the people who are on same check as you (if separate checks) or make it very clear off the bat who is on your check, 3. Don’t change your seat multiple times making us find you for every drink, etc., 4. Don’t reorder a drink while we are serving the food to your table (we will refill you I promise), 5. Don’t decide while we’re handing out checks that you want to pay for Bob and Sally now too. If its like our computer program, we have to then find a manager to rejoin your check with Bob’s and it already took us a lot of time to separate them all correctly to begin with. If you wanna pick up another persons/couples bill tell us before we separate them, preferably when we ask you how the checks will be divided. If it’s a secret, whisper it to us. Don’t wait.
  • Your kids mess really isn’t our responsibility to clean up. We do it cause when we flip your table we don’t want the next person to sit at a disaster but if your kids are emptying the sugars and salt & pepper out, maybe you could stop them or attempt to clean it up? And if they mash up food and throw it everywhere at least apologize for the mess. We don’t go to your home and make a mess and our livelihood depends on tips which depends on how many tables we get and if we have to spend time cleaning up after your hooligans that’s time we’re missing out on tables. We understand kids make messes but some people, and you know who you are, simply go to far. Don’t take your kids out if they and/or you can’t be somewhat tidy.
  • Speaking of kids, if your kid is throwing a fit for more than a few minutes, remove that child from the dining area. Other people are dining out without their children or don’t have kids and surely don’t want to hear yours. You’re not at home, ignoring Timmy and his tantrum doesn’t help anyone and annoys everyone. I’ve had people not want to pay for their meal because your kid ruined their night. That is not fair to me or those people who seldom go out and when they do want a nice experience for the money they are spending. Don’t be self-absorbed and rude. Get your kid outta there and bribe them to behave like other good parents do.
  • When on a date, keep your hands above the table. Don’t sit on the same side of the booth actually if you 2 are the only ones at the table. We immediately hate same side sitters. Can’t explain why, but it annoys us to no end. Also, no kissing, rubbing, touching, googling, etc. Get a room if you’re that horned up at a restaurant and order room service. Again, other people are trying to eat and you are making them want to puke.
  • If you’re so in love too that you can’t stop staring at each other to acknowledge that your food is there, see above statement.
  • When we say the plate is hot, we mean it.
  • If we make a mistake, kindly tell us and we’ll do whatever it takes to fix it and make it right. If you’re rude and condescending about it, well go fuck yourself. We are not brain surgeons and mistakes happen especially if any of our other tables are doing any of the above. Believe it or not we want you to leave happy.

If you are a nice customer and follow the rules, then thank you and keep coming and share this with your friends/family who may need some help. Keep an eye out for a part 2 as this list is constantly evolving as people continue to be dumb-asses 🙂

Kan we say enough of the Kardashians already?

America, I need your help. I need a united front though. Please hear me out.

I am not going to lie and say that I’ve never watched one of the many of the Kardashian’s “reality” shows. I have and if I’m being 100% honest here, I enjoyed watching it too! It pains me to admit that, but late at night there aren’t many options on TV, and mindless entertainment can help you to forget about a long day.

However lately I’ve been ambushed with Kim and her selfie book, Kanye receiving an honorary doctorate (even though he is a college drop out), Kylie and her lip injections, and how could we ever forget about Bruce. I started reading some articles and what I was reading was astounding to me.

Kim’s annual salary range per year is estimated at $25-30 million!!!! For being on the internet! She “earns” money from her DASH stores, books, paid personal appearances, clothes, and products she endorses and has her name on too.  Also from her charity eBay site (keep reading).

Really think about this. She became famous because of a sex tape.

Let it sink in.

My problem here is that she is so mega-rich because of US, the people of the world. Sure her days may be long and tiresome, but she doesn’t actually work. Maybe, just maybe she designs a few things here or there, but let’s be honest, what she and all the other Kardashians/Jenner girls do is not hard. Showing up for appearances where you get paid a ton to look trashy, eat and drink free food and spirits, and have people answer to your every beck and call is not hard. Posing for pictures with fans may get annoying after a while but it’s not hard. Creating a book out of pictures of yourself with no story or plot, is not hard. Trying some products and tweaking them (which means someone else actually makes it and changes it), also not hard work. The hardest thing they have to do is be at the right place at the right time which they pay their crazy mom to keep track of for them, so I’ll give Kris credit with doing some work. She is the one after all, who turned Kim’s sex tape scandal into this mega empire.

Here’s a small sampling of some of Kim’s earnings; Business Insider previously reported that she makes $10,000 PER TWEET on Twitter. PER TWEET PEOPLE! And her app and game makes an estimated $700,000 A DAY according to CNN. A DAY! She “earns” anywhere from $150,000-1 million for personal appearances and has an insane demands list which accompanies every appearance.

My other problem is that Kim (I’m targeting her if you hadn’t noticed) is so freaking excessive! Maybe this is where my jealousy over her insane net worth comes in to play, but good grief, can you do some good with that fortune?!? Lauren Weigle from Heavy.com reported that Kim spends $1 million per year on her beauty regimen. I can’t even fathom this. I can’t understand how you can have so much money that you spend 1 million just on looking good? She literally makes the phrase “looking like a million bucks” a reality.  She also reportedly spends $100,000 just on a professional selfie retoucher. WTF??? Her and Kanye spent some $20 million on their dream home and another $2.9 mil for the property next door so they can probably tear that house down. Because they probably (I’m making a few assumptions!) have an entourage that will be staying with them in their house here and there, they need their 2 swimming pools, it’s very own vineyard (expect some Kimye chardonnay soon?), 2 spas, and over 1,000 square foot patio, blah, blah, blah, to accommodate everyone comfortably. I saw a picture of the home playground baby North is getting and its bigger than my entire house! No joke!

In an interview with Look to the Stars (looktothestars.org) in 2009, Kim stated that she is active in 17 charities.  She states “I was raised always being taught to give 10% of my earnings to the church”, and “Giving back and helping others in need has been a way of life!” Brandy Reynolds from the site asked her “Does any of your recent work reflect your feelings on world issues?” Kim’s response, “All of my work does.  From charity events to how I live my everyday life.”

Really??!!??

What??!!?? How does the way she lives her life reflect on her feelings of world issues? Oh yeah, selfishly!

I know this was stated 6 years ago so maybe she did more then? Another interesting fact is the church she tithes to was founded by her mother Kris Jenner, Life Change Community Church. So essentially she is donating to her mom? (there is no breakdown on how the church uses the $ or if Kris gets any of the donations personally) Kim apparently does monthly eBay auctions and donates 10% of what she makes off those sales to different charity’s, essentially selling her old clothes and donating other people’s money. Here’s the real kicker, her personal net worth of around $65 million (not including Kayne’s of $130 million), includes earnings from her eBay “charity” auctions! She came under a lot of scrutiny when she donated from her eBay auction to help people in the Philippines after the typhoon, only giving away her standard 10% and an article leaked on how she makes money off of her charity work on her eBay site. People tweeted “How dare you use these people’s misery to make money?” Don’t you and boyfriend have enough money without using these poor wretched souls in their hour of desperation. Shame on you!”

Yes a donation is a donation however you want to look at it, but its pretty disgusting to me that she “earns” money from her donations and tithes to a church that was invented by Kris. Lets not forget that she is spending $1 million a year just on beauty!!!

While I’m speaking of disgusting, this brings me to the point of this whole post.  I am asking our society to have some respect for themselves. Lets stop supporting people for doing nothing.  I’m all for the American Dream and I have nothing against successful people who have the drive and determination to make their dreams come true and honestly put in hard work and long hours and tons of sweat and tears.  Let’s support the small businesses of the U.S.A. Let’s help keep their dreams alive. Please put your money to good use and not to support socialites. Lets support people with good morals and values. What values do the Kardashians possess? I can’t think of one.

Years ago I could have cared less about watching the Kardashians and maybe would have even bought some of their hairspray or fragrance, but now I have kids, and I have informed myself on them, and I want to puke.

I pray, my daughter Reagan will never know of them.  I am so sad that my stepdaughter’s probably look up to them and want to be like them.  If my son ever brought home a girl like one of them, he would be locked in his room forever!

It honestly pains me to think about all the Kardashians right now and all that they represent.  Terrible role models but they don’t care because they have MILLIONS of followers. It’s frightening and a sign of the times, and I hate it!

I care and I ask you, all of America, to care too and lets rid our lives of them.  Lets praise and support positive role models for our children, siblings, cousins, etc. Don’t help to make people like the Kardashians richer. What are you getting out of it besides a tv show to watch?

I know it’s a pipe dream, but hey, I’m a dreamer 🙂